All in a year
This morning sitting here drinking my coffee I am reminiscing about the last year of our lives. A year ago we were waiting for our beautiful baby girl to come at any moment. I was so anxious and nervous and yet so excited. With your first baby, you start thinking about how to be a good mom. How to raise them perfectly, how to teach them the rights from the wrongs. How you will rock them every moment of every day and watch them sleep. How to teach them to love God, and want the faith. I had all these plans for what kind of mom and even really wife I would be... Then I had the most stubborn baby in the whole world. And ever since the moment they laid that blessing in my arms I have been winging it. Completely and totally, nothing went as I thought it would and my "Parenting style" was laughing and waving on its way out the door.
Don't get me wrong, were only a year in so I have A LOT LONGER to keep winging it and maybe even figure some stuff out along the way. I've learned to not judge other parents choice, because what works for your child may not work for mine. I never ever thought I would use the cry it out method because I thought it was mean. I thought it was harsh, and then I had a baby. I had a baby who wouldn't fall asleep in my arms unless I bounced and jumped and rocked for HOURS and hours on end, only to sleep for 20 minutes and wake up screaming. I was loosing my sanity! Not because I didn't love her more than life itself because believe me, I do. But because I couldn't function with no sleep. I would stay awake until 3-4 am with her, just trying to get her to sleep. And then I couldn't fall asleep once I did get her to sleep because my nerves would keep me awake so I could hear if she cried. I was so worried about everyone thinking I was failing as a mom that I didn't realize that no one thought that at all. So finally, after many many hard nights of fighting myself I laid her down in her crib, smiled at my sweet girl, said good night, and walked away. Then what I had was a baby that sleeps for over 12 hours straight when I lay her down and let her go to sleep on her own, and she wakes up happy and rested.
Everything you do as a mom, you question. Is this right? Am I doing okay? What do I do now? Should I change this? At the end of the day, if you are all fed, alive, and safe I would say you are rocking it! Being a new mom is hard. Amazing, wonderful, and the best thing you will ever do absolutely, but hard. And if anyone says its not they are either lying or crazier than me.. which is really hard to be ;)
So, as I sit here sipping coffee waiting for that crazy mess to wake up so I can spend my day chasing her around, I will say that I wouldn't change this life for anything. Being a mom, and Landon's wife is the greatest job I could ever do. So have a wonderful day, and kiss your babies! ;)
All these thoughts came from this picture I saw on facebook, so I will share it with you as well :)
Don't get me wrong, were only a year in so I have A LOT LONGER to keep winging it and maybe even figure some stuff out along the way. I've learned to not judge other parents choice, because what works for your child may not work for mine. I never ever thought I would use the cry it out method because I thought it was mean. I thought it was harsh, and then I had a baby. I had a baby who wouldn't fall asleep in my arms unless I bounced and jumped and rocked for HOURS and hours on end, only to sleep for 20 minutes and wake up screaming. I was loosing my sanity! Not because I didn't love her more than life itself because believe me, I do. But because I couldn't function with no sleep. I would stay awake until 3-4 am with her, just trying to get her to sleep. And then I couldn't fall asleep once I did get her to sleep because my nerves would keep me awake so I could hear if she cried. I was so worried about everyone thinking I was failing as a mom that I didn't realize that no one thought that at all. So finally, after many many hard nights of fighting myself I laid her down in her crib, smiled at my sweet girl, said good night, and walked away. Then what I had was a baby that sleeps for over 12 hours straight when I lay her down and let her go to sleep on her own, and she wakes up happy and rested.
Everything you do as a mom, you question. Is this right? Am I doing okay? What do I do now? Should I change this? At the end of the day, if you are all fed, alive, and safe I would say you are rocking it! Being a new mom is hard. Amazing, wonderful, and the best thing you will ever do absolutely, but hard. And if anyone says its not they are either lying or crazier than me.. which is really hard to be ;)
So, as I sit here sipping coffee waiting for that crazy mess to wake up so I can spend my day chasing her around, I will say that I wouldn't change this life for anything. Being a mom, and Landon's wife is the greatest job I could ever do. So have a wonderful day, and kiss your babies! ;)
All these thoughts came from this picture I saw on facebook, so I will share it with you as well :)
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