A little about me!

 Hello. 

How are you?

 It's good to see you back here again. Observing my random thoughts and moments of.... golly I don't even know. Oddness and incite? It can't really be called incite if I have no idea what I am talking about though, hu? Anyway, welcome back. I actually had started several post's the last year. Mostly about the craziness of the world and then I thought to myself "you know what? There is enough content on that in the world that I don't need to be another voice out there offering anything to say on the subject of CORONA."

 SO. Instead, this last year I spent completely soul searching, changing the way we live and changing our finances. First of all, finances. I would say that was the start of it. Dave Ramsey. Good ol' Dave. Uncle Davey as he is known in our house. He changed our world for the better. Well, for me I connected more so with Rachel Cruz, Dave's daughter, she's a complete money guru. Seriously If you don't know who Dave Ramsey is, please I beg you, look up Financial Peace University. I can't begin to express to you the life changer that has been. 

Along with completely overhauling our financial life, 2020 was a chance for me to grow so much personally. Life just seemed so overwhelming with everything happening that at first I totally found myself trying to hide from it. Trying to pretend none of this was happening... Until it was completely unavoidable, Then I went into diving super deep into it all and knowing way more that I ever cared to know about politics. Which led me into the new year. 

Right at the beginning of the new year I decided to delete Facebook and Instagram. They were the only Social Media websites I was on. After deleting that I decided to stop watching most political videos on YouTube and look up only things that would bring me a sense of pace, calm and grounding to the life I am actually living in. That was part of my 2020, majorly learning to just enjoy the moments I am in, especially with my kids, The thing that probably got me the most was the comparison game. You know the game. Here you are, living your life and scrolling on Social Media and BAM! There it is, You're friend went on an amazing vacation. Or they bought the house. You know... THE house. That's the house you have always wanted! That's where you should be right now. You should be buying the big house, going on the fantastic vacations even with the... "Pandemic" going on. 

But here is where I couldn't do what I needed to do. For my self, and for my family. I was unable to take a step back and say... "That's amazing that they got to do that or have that. I am genuinely so happy for them and I hope that brought them an amazing amount of joy." And separate that from where I am at in life. This last year I have grown SO MUCH MORE content with where I am. That doesn't mean that I don't have dreams. This isn't where I want to be for the rest of my life, however I am grateful. Grateful for the house God provided right in our time of need. Grateful I live 10 seconds from my sister who is always there if I need her. Grateful that my husband works for an amazing company and they are like family to us. Grateful, as silly as this sounds, that Ramsey and his team (Again Rachel Cruz!!!!!!) changed my life. I'm grateful for my family, a major part of that being my in-laws who are amazing and I adore them all so very much. 

I have learned to be grateful for what I have while still working towards the things we want someday. I have learned to be honestly happy for where other people are in their lives. It is not and has never been a competition on who can have the most stuff, do the most things, or go the most places. We shouldn't be in this place of "Man, I wish I had/do the things that they do." But instead be in a peaceful place of "That's amazing that they got to do that, I am so happy for them. My goal is to do _____ when we are able to. But for now I am so grateful that I have/can do _______. 

However, I am still off social media. That trap is too big for me, not just to play the comparison game but to also get caught in the mindless scrolling and miss what is happening right in front of me. The tangible real life little moments with my family and with my life. It's hard I will admit, and once in awhile I grab my laptop and sign in and look at the top 3-5 posts and then I shut my laptop down and go play with my girls or read a book. I realized, for me, that I was spending so much time looking into the picture of everyone else's life that I was going to let my own pass me by. And that is not what I had kids for. I had my kids so we could play, be silly and learn from each other. 

And maybe you don't have that issues with social media. Maybe it doesn't suck you in, and if that's you that's amazing. I dream of being more like you. However, I am not. I know that I cannot handle having that access so freely and have learned that I need to keep a handle on it. I love my little life. I love my husband more than anything, and I LOVE my kids. They are amazing, they are funny and crazy and emotional and I am all they have. I am their only hope at learning how to deal with this life and I want to give it my all. I want to be there for them in every single possible way I can be. So for now, this is us. 

So! Again, welcome back. Being off social media, I have realized that I need an outlet to let myself talk, so I will probably be posting on here a little more often. So if you want to keep in contact, comment, text me, whatever I will eventually get back to you I promise lol If you have made it this far into my ramblings, thank you. I appreciate you and I hope we talk soon. 

Have a good day <3